The Trailer:
Director: Juanra Fernández
Main Cast: Ona Casamiquela, Jesús Caba, Luisa Gavasa, & Ana Turpin
Plot Summary: Ana (Ona Casamiquela), a young college student strapped for cash, takes a job as a nanny for a Diamantia (Luisa Gavasa), a world-renowned pianist. Things quickly go south as Ana realizes that Elisa (Ana Turpin), Diamantia's daughter, is not a child but a grown woman.
Being named after one of the greatest, most beautiful masterpieces in history (Okay, maybe not the greatest, Beethoven has many a great compositions) you'd expect this to be a masterpiece of cinema, but I'm here to tell you folks you'd be wrong. OHMYSATAN, this film is terrible. No, not terrible. That's too harsh, but it's nowhere near good, or decent even. It has the bones for a really great movie, it just wasn't well executed. I will say, though, that the acting is solid, some might even say good.
Where to start? I guess we can start off with how our protagonist is a completely and totally unlikable, flimsy character. The movie starts with Ana complaining to her mother that she doesn't send enough money for her to live off of while she's in college, and how she simply can't work because she's too busy with school. Her horrid mother won't even pay for her class trip to Madeira, oh that cruel mother of hers!! She also possesses this snarky attitude that rubs me the wrong way, you know? And I'm not talking about when she's snarky to her on again/off again boyfriend Alex (Jesús Caba), though, as he seems like a shitbag and shouldn't be treated nicely. Which leads me to another reason I don't like Ana: her and Alex have an argument ending with his hand gripping her throat and she just nonchalantly keeps flirting/bickering with him afterwards as though it wasn't a big deal. Even further, said argument is about her not wanting to forgive him for not inviting her to live with him, and when he finally says hey let's go look for a place she says "I don't want to live with you". What? Yet at the end the aforementioned choking, it seems like she forgives him but is just trying to give him hard time. Girl, you're so hot and cold, how is anyone supposed to know what you want? I don't know, she annoys me, you know? She just has this air about her that she's better than everyone else and it's aggravating. Another particular moment in the movie that pisses me off is when Ana goes to Diamantia's home for the first time for her interview and absentmindedly touches a doll Diamantia has on display. When Diamantia scolds her for touching it and letting Ana know that it is a rare and expensive doll, she doesn't even apologize or acknowledge Diamantia's words. Yes, it's a small thing, but think about it: This is the woman you're trying to work for and you're just gonna go into her home and offend her and then totally disregard her when she tries to correct you? Dude, learn some fucking manners! It's safe to say that I don't like Ana as a character, which makes it hard for me to sympathize with her when shit starts to go down.
The pace at which the plot moves is exceedingly fast with no buildup, so when "crazy" stuff starts to happen you're just like "wait, why is this happening, I don't get it?". It feels as though the writer couldn't think of any good plot devices or plot points to move the movie along so everything is just happening. And that works for some movies, but definitely not with this one. It's clear from the beginning that shit is supposed to get crazy, but when it does it's too tame. Yes, that's the problem. Since there's no character, plot development, or atmosphere it is generally expected that the gore and blood is going to be extreme. Think of films like Human Centipede or Cannibal Holocaust, they have little in terms of substance but they don't need it as their gore and violence more than makes up for it. But here in Para Elisa, there is no story, or the story that is presented is dull, and there's no gore. To further discuss the story's lack of gasp moments, it also dips very deep into stupid territory. Example: Ana, at her first chance of escape, has an opportunity to use the phone and instead of calling the police (you know someone who can actually help her) she calls her fucking shithead boyfriend! Are you serious?? And even worse, at that point in the movie we've discovered that Alex is even more of an ass than we initially thought through a completely unnecessary sub-plot that involves him sleeping with Ana's friend. It's all such a shame because the beginning of Para Elisa shows such promise. When we are introduced to Diamantia, I was hooked. I wanted to know more, to get a glimpse inside this woman's seemingly cool and collected head that is only a facade to her cruel brutality. I wanted to know the history of her and Elisa's life that led to such insanity. I wanted to know more about the other girls that Diamantia and Elisa have done this to (it is casually mentioned that there are others, but is never mentioned again). There was so much to explore and the writer chose not to and instead make a run-of-the-mill, "gory", slasher (?) flick. *Sigh* What a waste!
There was so much that could've been done to make Para Elisa better, but unfortunately it just didn't happen. And come to think of it, I'm not sure if Für Elise is even used at any point in the movie. How can you not pay homage to the namesake of the movie? I don't know. There is potential here, but it didn't come together in a strong story. Would I watch it again? Nope, not even für Elise. (haha, I make myself laugh)
No comments:
Post a Comment